the future is now

Remember when George Jetson's boss used to call him up on the videophone to yell at him? I always cringed at the idea of answering the phone in person (8 am, greasy hair and face, Almond Joy in hand, embarrassing 80s music playing in the background). Speaking by phone hides a multitude of sins, not to mention eye rolls and blah-blah-blah motions made with one's hand. 

And although we are still largely a traditional family when it comes to phone calls, one of us (Flash, age 11) is tiptoeing into the Facetime Era. It's a really great way for him to keep in touch with old friends in our last two states of residence. 

I have no problem with Facetime on principle--when I know it's happening. Lately I have found myself mid-lecture only to notice the face of Justin or Tyler or Jaden or whomever on the side of the desk, patiently waiting for the crazy woman to wrap it up. While I'm generally annoyed in that moment (and possibly embarrassed: see greasy face/Almond Joy above), I have to admit Facetime is making me a better parent. It's as if a sort of non-creepy Big Brother camera could be recording me at any moment. I find myself thinking--breathing--for a minute before I talk to my kids. It's a good habit, I think. Now where's my dinner-making machine?

decoupage is dangerous

I've had this sort of awful wooden vase-thing for years.  At one point it occupied a place among other botanical items and blended in pretty well.  Three houses later, it doesn't really "go" with anything in the living room (or any other rooms for that matter).  It is sturdy and was only three bucks on clearance at Marshall's and what's more I've moved it three times in as many years.  I'm not getting rid of it.  Therefore it must be decoupaged.

I found some handmade paper at Cost Plus that very closely matches the new scheme in my living room (namely, using color instead of black, tan, and white).  Picked up a jar of Mod Podge and...

Magical, isn't it? I had to trace each side of the vase separately as they don't really square up and there was a good bit of smoothing with a credit card but I'm happy with the result.

The only problem is that decoupage is so very easy and cheap.  I now see any blank surface as deficient in some way.  That lamp! Wouldn't it be so much more adorable with a paisley base? That dresser!  I'm thinking polka-dots.  That picture frame!  Super Q's forearm!  The dashboard of the car!  Most of Nebraska! The possibilities are endless.

you wanna ride bikes?

One great thing about living in Arizona is the near constant possibility of a bike ride.  Sometimes it may be a very short ride requiring a gallon of water and several forms of sun protection but you can truly get out there and pedal almost any old time.  Today the kids and I had oh, about 8 hours to ourselves while dh worked (on a Saturday...ugh) and went to a church meeting.  The boys quickly exhausted their screen time at which point we were faced with 6 hours to fill.  Washed the car. Made pizzas. Regaled Mom with hilarious songs about Boots the Monkey getting attacked by aliens (sigh). My mood was deteriorating; half-heartedly I floated the idea of a bike ride.  The boys agreed and we were off to the bike path.  We rode farther than we ever had before and at the end we found a sweet little park with GRASS (a rarity here) and a sort of retaining pond with WATER in it (again, a rarity) surrounded by rocks just begging to be thrown in that water.

A few weeks ago Super Q and I took our bikes to the drugstore (night-time candy run).  He was very earnest and serious about bicycle safety.  Riding ahead of me, helmet slightly crooked, he indicated right turns, stops, and some crazy made-up signal for "straight ahead."  As we left the busy street and entered our neighborhood, he yelled back to me, "In the neighborhood you don't have to walk your bike across the streets! Also there's no traffic lights!"  You can learn a lot about bicycle safety from a 9 year old.

the neighbors

Can I just take a moment and be petty? Thanks.

Our neighbors.  They didn't make a great first impression.  The first day we were here I noticed that everyone in their house from the 13 year old on up is a chain smoker.  (The 6 and 4 year olds may as well be with all those smokers around.)

The man of the house introduced himself as "John Doe, nice to meet you.  Just moving the wife out myself today, to an apartment. So are you on your own here as well?" Er, no... husband's around here somewhere, thank goodness.

The smoking doesn't affect me much (except when it wafts over to my clothesline, leaving everything with a fresh spring Marlboro scent):  it's the TAWLKING!  At all hours!  Out on the back patio, which is approximately 3 feet away from our house (gotta love the suburbs). 6:00 am?  Yes, they're back there enjoying the morning air (the husband and the wife both--maybe the apartment thing didn't work out after all). 11:30 pm?  Well, perfect time to toss back some beers and laugh LOUDLY and not put the children to bed.
We are blessed to hear every detail of their conversations--I now know exactly which middle manager at John's workplace is a ****head, information which is delivered in the worst nasal intonation possible.
 The beautiful part of it is that their dogs have no bedtime and no time inside the house.  They are free to bark 24/7.

Now I've been petty on the internet.  I'll have to post a lovely craft next time to make up for it.

Arizona primer

We're heeeeere! In Arizona!

... we've actually been here for 7 weeks, so maybe it's too late for exclamation points and everything.

So an incomplete primer for you on living in the desert.  Bulleted for your enjoyment.

• It is actually sunny 99% of the time. FOR REAL.  (Here I add the disclaimer and acknowledgement that, yes, I grew up here.  But haven't lived here for any real length of time since 1990.  So it's all so fresh and new!)  No gray skies yet!  I wake up every morning to a clear, crazy-blue sky.  It's so bright!  I greet the morning with optimism and verve!  And by 1:00 pm I'm a little sick of the sun.  It's 106* outside, the kids are on hour 2 of xbox, surrounded by the detritus of several trips to the kitchen --Otter Pop wrappers, spoons with traces of Nutella on them, abandoned bowls of Cool Whip (!)--and I'm googling "free indoor playgrounds NOT chuck e. cheese's."
• Everyone's thirsty all the time.  I have never, NEVER, seen so many Circle K stores in my life.  Every .5 miles, no joke.  Not to mention the occasional QT store, which has Sonic-style ice AND fantastic chocolate flavoring to add to your Coke Zero.  They also sell hot mac n' cheese for the kiddies.  It's like a crack house.  dh once went back for FOUR refills in one day.  (We are aware that the man needs help.)  At first I wondered, "Why all the convenience stores?"  Why not just keep water in your car?"  The answer to that is that the water in your car is also 106*. 
• We are thirsty and occasionally bored but trying so very hard to get along so we can do things like go see "Cats and Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore" with contraband Walgreen's candy from Mom's purse.  Sometimes we need a reminder:

• When "Kitty Galore" is over and chores are done and xbox time exhausted and I'm saving the pool for very last I might attempt something crazy like try to teach the boys some Chinese.  We don't have a whiteboard...

• We also don't have any grass at all.  We miss our giant deck and grass in Michigan, not to mention a high of 85*.  Not to mention tons of friends and cousins.  
• We do have lots of family not too far away (hallelujah!).  We got to see them all a few weeks ago and it was glorious! 

I think I've sort of abandoned the primer idea so no need for bullets.  There's just one more thing.  A lovely, wonderful book to recommend.  Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri.  I've read (and adored) her other books and this one is beautifully written like the others, full of detail and real emotion.  

the vandal

In the past few weeks of endless, laborious, detailed cleaning (house is now on the market!) I have discovered that the 8 year old is way into graffiti.  He has always commented on it and admired it as we drive along the freeway in Detroit; apparently he has been practicing it at home.  I found it on the underside of the top bunk (written for his brother to see):  "I smell like poo."  "I wear titey witeys."  Some sort of unidentifiable words are written in silver Sharpie on the outside of the house.  More silver Sharpie all over his skateboard:  "Goofy" (his preferred method of riding the skateboard), "Caroline" (the much older girl he has a crush on), and "Wow" (his sarcastic response to just about everything.)  Found some drawings on the ceiling of the car (not sure if those will ever come out), under the kitchen table, and on cereal boxes.  I actually caught him with a can of spray paint in the garage the other day... he was going to paint a piece of cardboard leaning right next to the car.  Hoping he ends up like Banksy and not in juvi.

my heart is full

"My heart is full today."  People are always saying that when my church congregation meets.  And today it's true for me. My heart is absolutely bursting with a tangly nest of emotions. So proud of my children, yet annoyed that they aren't a little more sensitive to all of this ridiculous cleaning I'm doing now that the house is on the market.  So sad to be leaving Primary (our children's ministry) but also a little relieved at lessened church responsibility.  Sad to leave our extended family here but glad to see more of the other extended family members in Arizona.  Already missing the glory that is Michigan in the summertime, but a little annoyed at still needing to use the heater in May.  

And on this day, Mother's Day, my heart is full of conflicting feelings about this work I do.  Sometimes I think if things were just cuter around here--like Nie Nie's house, with super chic lamps and pillows--there would be a happier vibe.  Sometimes I think I need to loosen up a LOT and let things get dirty and chaotic more often.  There are days when I love mothering and I feel like we're really a happy family.  More often I really worry that I'm messing up my kids and modeling undesirable habits and behavior (Diet Coke on the breakfast table, anyone?)  I take comfort in the fact that each day I can tweak my mothering and hopefully improve.